Friday, April 14, 2006

Oops, I did it again

I never learn.

Every freaking year I do it, and every year I'm sorry I did.

I'm a chocolate lover - not a day goes by that I don't have a nibble of some tasty dark chocolate. However, I'm not really a sugar fiend. In fact, I eat very little refined sugar - I just don't seem to crave the stuff, and in general, I'll pass it by in favor of a salty/crunchy snack, or a bite of chocolate.

But every year I succumb to the voluptuous horror of Peeps and Cadbury Creme Eggs.

Marshmallows are good, and sugar-crusted marshmallow chicks are great. They're cute, and yet they put up a fight. Ever tried to bite the head off of a Peep? It is not a clean cut. They stretch and tug and stick to your teeth and fingers. Then finally, a gentle tug, and the decapitation is complete. If you shy from violence and gore, stick with a hollow chocolate bunny - you can snap the ears off with no sense of struggle. But the Peep leaves its mark on you - yellow stained fingers and gooey teeth. The most insidious part is the Peep is merely a gateway confection.

Inevitably a Peep binge leads me to crave the serious stuff. The Cadbury Creme Egg.

Something about the adorable yolk-in-the-center just gets to me. Plus, they're only available for a few short weeks. And they look so innocent - but in fact, they hide a sinister gutful of sucrose doom. If one is not accustomed to regular doses of sugar, the Cadbury Creme Egg is the equivalent of mainlining high quality, uncut heroin. The rush is heady and immediate - I once believed I was a hummingbird for a good 15 minutes. I ran around in a sticky, chocolate-mouthed haze, annoying everyone in my immediate vicinity.

Then, the crash. Oh, the buzz is fantastic, but the payback is a bitch. The sugar hangover is fierce - a sudden plummet of energy, a bloated and upset stomach, and a throbbing headache. Every year I tell myself that I will learn from my experience and cease these ridiculous binges.

But I never learn.


Blogger haiku_girl said...

Peeps get the best of most people. I hate marshmallows and still eat 'em. I think it's because they're cute.

4:00 PM  
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