The 5 Stages of South Dakota

The Kübler-Ross model describes, in five stages, the process by which people deal with grief and tragedy.

I humbly submit the Vargo model of the 5 stages of driving through South Dakota:

1. Denial – “There is no possible way I can still be in South Dakota.”

2. Anger – “If I ever go on a killing spree, it's gonna be in fucking South Dakota.”

3. Bargaining – “I vow to make straight A's, volunteer my time to needy children, and donate a kidney if I can just get the hell out of South Dakota.”

4. Depression – “I swear I’m going to kill myself in South Dakota.”

5. Acceptance – Now entering Wyoming